Boilhimian Crabsody

I ate a crab, and it seemed appropriate to celebrate the event in song, in the style of classic rockers Queen.

Here are the lyrics in case you are interested:

Mama, just killed a crab,
I just wanted to be fed,
Boiled some water,
Now he’s dead
Mama,
His life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and boiled it all away
Mama,
Oooooooooh
I did mean to make you crab
But if you’d like to eat some crab tomorrow
It’s all gone, it’s all gone
Coz i ate him in a sandwich

Too late, his time had come
Boiled him up, ripped out his mind
Ripped off his limbs one at a time
Goodbye, mister Crabsley
You’d got to go
Got to boil until you die and be my lunch
Mama, oooooooooooooooooooooooh [eat his tasty crab toes]
He didn’t want to die
And now there’s no crab left for you at all

So I smashed off his face and ripped out his mind

Then I wrenched off his limbs and I ate his insides

Oh, Crabsley,
I know I’ve mangled you badly

But I just want to suck out,
Just want to suck out all your meat

Eat you in a sandwich,
Eat your lovely meat
Eat you in a sandwich,
In a lovely sandwich…..

For tea

Eat your lovely crab claws

I wrote lyrics for the operatic section of the song, which I refer to in our crustacean-themed version as the “Pincer Movement” – which I took out for this performance but which I will put here for your enjoyment if you are interested in that kind of thing:

I see a little silhouette of a crab
Carapace! carapace! will you make a nice pate?
Rolling pin’s exciting, smashing limbs for their white meat
Crab and mayo! Crab and Mayo!
Crab and mayo! Crab and Mayo!
Crab and Mayo in a roll

Magnifico-o-o-o

He’s a crustacean, he lives in the sea
He’s a crustacean, of the crab family

I took his life and ate him for my tea

In a bun, in a roll,
Will you eat his nose?

I will not

No! He does not have a nose

Eat his nose!

I will not

He does not have a nose

Eat his nose!

I will not

He does not have a nose

Eat his nose!

does not have a nose

Eat his nose!

does not have a nose

Eat his no-o-o-o-o-o-o-ose

No no no no no

Oh mama mia mama mia

Mama mia eat his nose

His shell contains lots of delicious brown and white meat,
white meat, white meat

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