I ate a crab, and it seemed appropriate to celebrate the event in song, in the style of classic rockers Queen.
Here are the lyrics in case you are interested:
Mama, just killed a crab,
I just wanted to be fed,
Boiled some water,
Now he’s dead
Mama,
His life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and boiled it all away
Mama,
Oooooooooh
I did mean to make you crab
But if you’d like to eat some crab tomorrow
It’s all gone, it’s all gone
Coz i ate him in a sandwich
Too late, his time had come
Boiled him up, ripped out his mind
Ripped off his limbs one at a time
Goodbye, mister Crabsley
You’d got to go
Got to boil until you die and be my lunch
Mama, oooooooooooooooooooooooh [eat his tasty crab toes]
He didn’t want to die
And now there’s no crab left for you at all
So I smashed off his face and ripped out his mind
Then I wrenched off his limbs and I ate his insides
Oh, Crabsley,
I know I’ve mangled you badly
But I just want to suck out,
Just want to suck out all your meat
Eat you in a sandwich,
Eat your lovely meat
Eat you in a sandwich,
In a lovely sandwich…..
For tea
Eat your lovely crab claws
I wrote lyrics for the operatic section of the song, which I refer to in our crustacean-themed version as the “Pincer Movement” – which I took out for this performance but which I will put here for your enjoyment if you are interested in that kind of thing:
I see a little silhouette of a crab
Carapace! carapace! will you make a nice pate?
Rolling pin’s exciting, smashing limbs for their white meat
Crab and mayo! Crab and Mayo!
Crab and mayo! Crab and Mayo!
Crab and Mayo in a roll
Magnifico-o-o-o
He’s a crustacean, he lives in the sea
He’s a crustacean, of the crab family
I took his life and ate him for my tea
In a bun, in a roll,
Will you eat his nose?
I will not
No! He does not have a nose
Eat his nose!
I will not
He does not have a nose
Eat his nose!
I will not
He does not have a nose
Eat his nose!
does not have a nose
Eat his nose!
does not have a nose
Eat his no-o-o-o-o-o-o-ose
No no no no no
Oh mama mia mama mia
Mama mia eat his nose
His shell contains lots of delicious brown and white meat,
white meat, white meat
Oddly, I doubt this song will go over very well with vegans…me though, I loved it! 😀
OMG! Insane! Loved this!
Truly excellent, Mr Crabsley