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Hover Bacon: Some Answers

Patrick Nolte has sent in some queries regarding Hover Bacon. My responses are below:

Does Hover bacon work the same way a flying carpet works?
No. Flying carpets are essentially bunkum. If you have been sold a flying carpet it is probably either a: just a carpet or b: a hovercraft with a carpet over it.

Can people fly on Hover Bacon?
Yes. Yes they can.

One person here thinks you control the bacon by thought but the rest think there has to be some sort of control or maybe you would "surf" on it.
You don't use controls to control Hover Bacon. To be honest it's not really conscious thought either. It's much more Zen than that. Essentially you have to feel the bacon, become one with the bacon, feel the consciousness of your brains meld into the consciousness of the Universal Bacon, and then you will find that your will and the will of the Bacon are one.

Does the bacon itself come from the moon? Being the crab of ineffable wisdom, you already stated that all meat comes from the moon.
You have answered your own question there my friend. Yes, of course Hover Bacon comes from the moon, as does all meat. The Hover Bacon Mine is in an extremely secret moon location, where it is mined by slave dwarves who have been sworn to secrecy. The dwarves have to be tethered, of course, to prevent them from escaping from the mine on the Hover Bacon.

I hope all this information helps, and is of use to you


Joel aka The Crab Of Ineffable Wisdom aka The Guru aka Stallion Explosion