Some more new words

I have created some more new words to fill further gaps in the English language:

Nodyssey - an uneventful stroll to the shops
NO.M.G - internet shorthand for "I am not surprised"
Nopen – closed
Noptimise - to take something good and make it pretty useless
Nocean – puddle
Nohm - The SI unit of no electrical resistance used in superconductors
Nocelot - I do not currently have an ocelot
Nobjection - Agreement
Nobvious - Unclear
Noblivious - Paying close attention
Nobscure - culturally pervasive
Nobsession - apathy
Nobstetrics - all activities unrelated to pregnancy and child birth (eg table tennis)
Nobstructive - helpful
Nobtrusive - subtle
Nobtain - to lose something
Nobelisk - a small monument
Nobedience - revolution
Nobituary - birth notice
Noctopus – Squid or nautilus
Notilus – Squid or octopus
Noptimistic - defeatist
Norange - apple
Norgan – piano
NO.A.P. - young person
Noven - fridge
Nowl - Anything of any kind which is not an owl (eg kazzoo)
Noxford - Cambridge
Nopulant - crummy
Noption - a choice that is not available
Noctagon - Square
Noligarch - tramp
Nolive oil - the stuff the chip shop uses to fry things
Nolympics - pub games
Nopera - Slayer
Norbit - re-entry
Noatmeal - A breakfast without porridge (eg bacon and eggs)

Newsletter 173

Hellooooooooo! And welcome to the 173rd EVER newsletter from Rathergood!

The big news this week is that we've got a BAFTA nomination for I Love You So Hard! Ross Butter has a well-deserved New Talent nomination from BAFTA Scotland. HOORAYS!

And LOOK! Part 3 is ready for your delectation RIGHT NOW! AWESOMES!

http://rathergood.com/all-sketches/iloveyou3.html

I think that's about it for today, except to tell you I love you.

I LOVE YOU SO HARD! I'll shove sticks down my fingernails and pry them off for you! Then I'll do the same with my toenails! Then I'll grow some more just so I can shove sticks down them and pry those off as well! Eventually I'll have a box of finger and toe nails large enough to serve for breakfast for you.

I'll sneak in to your house while you're asleep and I'll wait for you to come down for breakfast. I'll get my gory, blood-soaked nails and I'll put them in a cereal bowl for you. I'll need some “milk” to put in with them, but normal cow's milk is a bit limp and doesn't adequately express the depth of my emotion, so I'll make my own.

I've got some of those massive North American slugs that eat meat and stuff. They make GREAT pets! You can feed them rancid meat just like a cat, and you can pet them just like a (slimy) cat, and you can sleep with them on your face like a cat! They are AWESOME! Anyway the best thing about them is that if you give them a shock they vomit their delicious half-digested rancid meat vom right back out of their slimy slugular faces!

I'll get my massive sack of huge slugs, all freshly gorged on rancid meat, and I'll get them out and hold them, one by one, over the bowl of ragged nails. I'll go “BOO!” at each slug, sending a cascade of sluggy meat vom over the bowl till it's filled to overflowing! That will be better than any pathetic cow milk! My special slug “milk” is the KING of ALL the breakfast moistening substances!

When you come down the stairs in the morning you'll find me there,  surrounded by my ravenous slugs, fending them off as they try and sate their terrible hunger with my flesh. A bowl of delicious nails in slugmeatvom awaiting your delectation on the table.

Then you'll love me back!

THEN. YOU. WILL. LOVE. ME. BACK.

Mwah mwah, superhugs!

Yours sincerely

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown
Able to slow kittens to 1/40th the speed of a normal kitten
Fan of all ungulates
Moon Baron
Able to do a passable impersonation of a trumpeting elephant
Fixer of aircraft using glue, tape and bog roll
Cyborg Warrior
Repairer of small shock absorbers
Owner of a skin-tight lycra suit
Knower of some stuff about pulse jets
Able to identify many cartilaginous fish
Painter of RC cars
Able to fly a radio control plane briefly before crashing and destroying it
Knows what a lift pump is in a diesel engine
Understands clutch shoes
Loop-the-looper extraordinaire!
Getting less bad at soldering
Has a vague understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of a small propeller spinning quickly vs a big propeller spinning slowly
Knows that volts times amps equals watts
Father of Ultimate Nail Baby
Hasn't even mentioned that he cut the tip of his finger off because he's so brave
Builder of Sausage Drone
Not responsible for anyone injuring themselves while attempting dangerous erotic freefall
Popular amongst Dominicans with sexually confusing genetic disorders
HABATAAAAAAG enthusiast
Milkman impersonator
Stallion Explosion
Drummer on stranded buoys
Killer of tree stump
Barbequer of delicious sardines
Rat control expert
Wears a clean pair of underpants every single day, no exceptions
Juicing enthusiast
Maestro Human Jamonero
Fingernail splinter survivor

Some new words I have invented with Dave

The English language is not sufficiently nuanced to express all the concepts we wish to express, so we have invented these words.

Unferno - Any thing which is not currently on fire

Unfernal - Any creature which is not of Hell (eg goose)

Unch - Any distance either shorter than or longer than an inch

Untimate - Of a friend, but not a very good one

Undolent - Keen

Unsipid - Flavoursome

Unsouciance - Concern

Unane - Meaningful

Unciting - Discouraging

Unticing - Horrid

Unter - Leave

Unt - Any thing of any kind that is not an ant

Unt Eater - A creature which eats anything at all of any kind other than ants (eg cow)

Unternal - Outside

Uncreasing - Becoming less

Unfection - Good health

Undicator - Any light that does not flash when you turn a corner

Undustrial - A field or wood

Unfatuation - Dislike

Unert - Moving

Unflate - To remove air

Unformation - Lies

Unfuriate - To be nice to someone

Unhabit - To move out

Unitially - Not first

Unsect - Any thing which is not an insect (eg brick)

Unergy - Laziness

Unsult - Compliment

Und - Any part of a story which is not the last page

Unterrogate - To not ask someone questions

Untelligent - Stupid

Unagram - A puzzle in which the letters of one word bear no relation to the letters of a second word

Untoxicate - To become sober

Unvade - To stay within one's own borders

Unfiltrate - To not sneak in to something

Unvest - To not finance anything

Unvigorating - Anything which saps your will to live

Uncome - All the money in the entire world which you have not earned

Unternational - Any thing which does not involve more than one country

Unvent - To not think of something no-one has ever thought of before

Undrogenous - Clearly male or female

Undroid - A non-synthetic human

Untriguing - Anything dull

Unsomniac - A person who is able to get to sleep with ease

Unecdote - Any action other than the telling of an entertaining story

Unathema - Anything pleasant

Unimation - Any picture which does not move (eg painting)

Unnihalation - To not damage in any way

Unticipation - To not look forward to something

Untenna - Anything other than the sensitive protuberance on the head of a creature (eg shoes)

Unachronism - Anything which happens at an appropriate time

Unalysis - To accept something without question

Unalog - Digital

Unalagous - Not related in any way

Kofi Unnan - Any thing of any kind other than Kofi Annan (eg ennui)

Unnui - excitement

Unteresting - Anything boring

Unarchist - Someone who is quite happy with the status quo

Unatomy - Anything other than the study of the body (eg The Crimean War)

Unchor - Something which propels a boat

Uncestor - A person from whom you are not descended

Uncient - Recent

Unaconda - Anything other than a large snake (eg bream)

Unaesthetist - A person who wakes you up during surgery

Undeavour - To not bother

Unduring - Transient

Uncapsulate - To ramble on at great length without ever finishing the point

Unchantment - Anything non-magical (eg tapeworm)

Unchilada - Anything not rolled in a tortilla (eg professor Steven Hawking)

Uncore - To leave immediately after the scheduled performance

Uncounter - To not meet

Uncyclopedia - This

BAFTA Scotland nomination for I Love You So Hard

Awesome news from the heroic Ross Butter today! BAFTA Scotland have nominated him for a New Talent award for I Love You So Hard, our gloriously romantic stop motion love-fest.

Hoorays!