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Dinosaurs: Terrible Lizards - the best thing we have ever made. Newsletter 22

Hello!

I have just released DEFINITELY the BEST THING we have EVER DONE. DEFINITELY!

Behold the glory of Dinosaurs: Terrible Lizards:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InPHe6xJ8EY

Wheeeee!

Yours sincerely

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown
Able to slow kittens to 1/40th the speed of a normal kitten
Fan of all ungulates
Moon Baron
Able to do a passable impersonation of a trumpeting elephant
Fixer of aircraft using glue, tape and bog roll
Cyborg Warrior
Repairer of small shock absorbers
Owner of a skin-tight lycra suit
Knower of some stuff about pulse jets
Able to identify many cartilaginous fish
Painter of RC cars
Able to fly a radio control plane briefly before crashing and destroying it
Knows what a lift pump is in a diesel engine
Understands clutch shoes
Loop-the-looper extraordinaire!
Getting less bad at soldering
Has a vague understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of a small propeller spinning quickly vs a big propeller spinning slowly
Knows that volts times amps equals watts
Father of Ultimate Nail Baby
Hasn't even mentioned that he cut the tip of his finger off because he's so brave
Builder of Sausage Drone
Not responsible for anyone injuring themselves while attempting dangerous erotic freefall
Popular amongst Dominicans with sexually confusing genetic disorders
HABATAAAAAAG enthusiast
Milkman impersonator
Stallion Explosion
Drummer on stranded buoys
Killer of tree stump
Barbequer of delicious sardines
Rat control expert
Wears a clean pair of underpants every single day, no exceptions
Juicing enthusiast
Maestro Human Jamonero
Fingernail splinter survivor
Choctopussular King of the Underworld
King of rapid-reaction song-forging
Trainee quadcopter pilot
Digger-out of large pieces of floorboard from his own feet flesh
Survivor of adult mumps
Egg detector
Bacon Drone Mastermind
Able to speak French a bit
Very grown up
Getting better at gardening
Not actually so sure I am getting better at gardening after all
Successfully grafted at least one fruit tree
Learning a bit about pollination
Has eaten reindeer
Building slug defences from egg shells
Has definitely got some greengages growing on the greengage tree
Owner of a kiwi vine
Slug Patrol! Ho!
Has a slightly sore little finger on the right hand
Destroyer of aphids
Several plants would be growing better if I had just left them alone instead of trying to help
A bit tired
Owner of a Passion Fruit vine
Grower of Asparagus
Educator about dinosaurs
Grower and Eater of greengages
Pork is my cake, cheese sauce my custard
Creator of a massive glut of broad beans
Maker of compost
Grower of fruit seeds
Cooker of spicy bone soup
Can say “fish” in Spanish
Inventor of Bean Cake. It's a cake that's full of beans!
Inventor of Eel Cake. It's a cake that's full of eels!
Father of a very small hairdresser
Has a horrible cold but is much too brave to mention it
Smells of burnt toast
Theocratic Despot of the Future
Walking quite a lot these days
I do like a nice home made spicy soup you know
Ate a ridiculously hot chicken wing thereby joining the Brotherhood of Idiots
Crabcatcher
Bell Enthusiast
Pie Cogniscenti
Knower of Things About Fruit
Gaseous Embarrasment Veteran
Nocturnal Beef Trumpet Expert
Owling Wolf
Weaselpecker truth facter
Dinoscienceman

What The Weasel Riding The Woodpecker Was REALLY Doing - newsletter 221

Hello!

I have discovered what the weasel riding the woodpecker was really doing! Look! I have film proof!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmAUrilPde4

Wheeeee!

Yours sincerely

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown
Able to slow kittens to 1/40th the speed of a normal kitten
Fan of all ungulates
Moon Baron
Able to do a passable impersonation of a trumpeting elephant
Fixer of aircraft using glue, tape and bog roll
Cyborg Warrior
Repairer of small shock absorbers
Owner of a skin-tight lycra suit
Knower of some stuff about pulse jets
Able to identify many cartilaginous fish
Painter of RC cars
Able to fly a radio control plane briefly before crashing and destroying it
Knows what a lift pump is in a diesel engine
Understands clutch shoes
Loop-the-looper extraordinaire!
Getting less bad at soldering
Has a vague understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of a small propeller spinning quickly vs a big propeller spinning slowly
Knows that volts times amps equals watts
Father of Ultimate Nail Baby
Hasn't even mentioned that he cut the tip of his finger off because he's so brave
Builder of Sausage Drone
Not responsible for anyone injuring themselves while attempting dangerous erotic freefall
Popular amongst Dominicans with sexually confusing genetic disorders
HABATAAAAAAG enthusiast
Milkman impersonator
Stallion Explosion
Drummer on stranded buoys
Killer of tree stump
Barbequer of delicious sardines
Rat control expert
Wears a clean pair of underpants every single day, no exceptions
Juicing enthusiast
Maestro Human Jamonero
Fingernail splinter survivor
Choctopussular King of the Underworld
King of rapid-reaction song-forging
Trainee quadcopter pilot
Digger-out of large pieces of floorboard from his own feet flesh
Survivor of adult mumps
Egg detector
Bacon Drone Mastermind
Able to speak French a bit
Very grown up
Getting better at gardening
Not actually so sure I am getting better at gardening after all
Successfully grafted at least one fruit tree
Learning a bit about pollination
Has eaten reindeer
Building slug defences from egg shells
Has definitely got some greengages growing on the greengage tree
Owner of a kiwi vine
Slug Patrol! Ho!
Has a slightly sore little finger on the right hand
Destroyer of aphids
Several plants would be growing better if I had just left them alone instead of trying to help
A bit tired
Owner of a Passion Fruit vine
Grower of Asparagus
Educator about dinosaurs
Grower and Eater of greengages
Pork is my cake, cheese sauce my custard
Creator of a massive glut of broad beans
Maker of compost
Grower of fruit seeds
Cooker of spicy bone soup
Can say “fish” in Spanish
Inventor of Bean Cake. It's a cake that's full of beans!
Inventor of Eel Cake. It's a cake that's full of eels!
Father of a very small hairdresser
Has a horrible cold but is much too brave to mention it
Smells of burnt toast
Theocratic Despot of the Future
Walking quite a lot these days
I do like a nice home made spicy soup you know
Ate a ridiculously hot chicken wing thereby joining the Brotherhood of Idiots
Crabcatcher
Bell Enthusiast
Pie Cogniscenti
Knower of Things About Fruit
Gaseous Embarrasment Veteran
Nocturnal Beef Trumpet Expert
Owling Wolf
Weaselpecker truth facter

Turing's Nocturnal Beef Trumpet - Egremont Russet's Fruit Histories - Newsletter 219

Hello!

Turing's Nocturnal Beef Trumpet is a genuine wonder of fruit. Egremont Russet tells us all about it. This is what Alan Turing was REALLY up to at Bletchley Park.

http://bit.ly/1MQKxLd

Wheeeee!

Yours sincerely

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown
Able to slow kittens to 1/40th the speed of a normal kitten
Fan of all ungulates
Moon Baron
Able to do a passable impersonation of a trumpeting elephant
Fixer of aircraft using glue, tape and bog roll
Cyborg Warrior
Repairer of small shock absorbers
Owner of a skin-tight lycra suit
Knower of some stuff about pulse jets
Able to identify many cartilaginous fish
Painter of RC cars
Able to fly a radio control plane briefly before crashing and destroying it
Knows what a lift pump is in a diesel engine
Understands clutch shoes
Loop-the-looper extraordinaire!
Getting less bad at soldering
Has a vague understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of a small propeller spinning quickly vs a big propeller spinning slowly
Knows that volts times amps equals watts
Father of Ultimate Nail Baby
Hasn't even mentioned that he cut the tip of his finger off because he's so brave
Builder of Sausage Drone
Not responsible for anyone injuring themselves while attempting dangerous erotic freefall
Popular amongst Dominicans with sexually confusing genetic disorders
HABATAAAAAAG enthusiast
Milkman impersonator
Stallion Explosion
Drummer on stranded buoys
Killer of tree stump
Barbequer of delicious sardines
Rat control expert
Wears a clean pair of underpants every single day, no exceptions
Juicing enthusiast
Maestro Human Jamonero
Fingernail splinter survivor
Choctopussular King of the Underworld
King of rapid-reaction song-forging
Trainee quadcopter pilot
Digger-out of large pieces of floorboard from his own feet flesh
Survivor of adult mumps
Egg detector
Bacon Drone Mastermind
Able to speak French a bit
Very grown up
Getting better at gardening
Not actually so sure I am getting better at gardening after all
Successfully grafted at least one fruit tree
Learning a bit about pollination
Has eaten reindeer
Building slug defences from egg shells
Has definitely got some greengages growing on the greengage tree
Owner of a kiwi vine
Slug Patrol! Ho!
Has a slightly sore little finger on the right hand
Destroyer of aphids
Several plants would be growing better if I had just left them alone instead of trying to help
A bit tired
Owner of a Passion Fruit vine
Grower of Asparagus
Educator about dinosaurs
Grower and Eater of greengages
Pork is my cake, cheese sauce my custard
Creator of a massive glut of broad beans
Maker of compost
Grower of fruit seeds
Cooker of spicy bone soup
Can say “fish” in Spanish
Inventor of Bean Cake. It's a cake that's full of beans!
Inventor of Eel Cake. It's a cake that's full of eels!
Father of a very small hairdresser
Has a horrible cold but is much too brave to mention it
Smells of burnt toast
Theocratic Despot of the Future
Walking quite a lot these days
I do like a nice home made spicy soup you know
Ate a ridiculously hot chicken wing thereby joining the Brotherhood of Idiots
Crabcatcher
Bell Enthusiast
Pie Cogniscenti
Knower of Things About Fruit
Gaseous Embarrasment Veteran
Nocturnal Beef Trumpet Expert

Owls and Boomtown Fair - newsletter 220

Hello!

I have somehing very lovely for you today.

Jane and Steve loved each other very much. Jane loved owls. Steve had a morbid fear of owls. This is their story.

Http://rathergood.com/all-sketches/owls.html

Also, MASSIVE NEWS! 7 Seconds Of Love will be playing the Boomtown Fair festival in August!

http://www.boomtownfair.co.uk/news

Wheeeee!

Yours sincerely

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown
Able to slow kittens to 1/40th the speed of a normal kitten
Fan of all ungulates
Moon Baron
Able to do a passable impersonation of a trumpeting elephant
Fixer of aircraft using glue, tape and bog roll
Cyborg Warrior
Repairer of small shock absorbers
Owner of a skin-tight lycra suit
Knower of some stuff about pulse jets
Able to identify many cartilaginous fish
Painter of RC cars
Able to fly a radio control plane briefly before crashing and destroying it
Knows what a lift pump is in a diesel engine
Understands clutch shoes
Loop-the-looper extraordinaire!
Getting less bad at soldering
Has a vague understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of a small propeller spinning quickly vs a big propeller spinning slowly
Knows that volts times amps equals watts
Father of Ultimate Nail Baby
Hasn't even mentioned that he cut the tip of his finger off because he's so brave
Builder of Sausage Drone
Not responsible for anyone injuring themselves while attempting dangerous erotic freefall
Popular amongst Dominicans with sexually confusing genetic disorders
HABATAAAAAAG enthusiast
Milkman impersonator
Stallion Explosion
Drummer on stranded buoys
Killer of tree stump
Barbequer of delicious sardines
Rat control expert
Wears a clean pair of underpants every single day, no exceptions
Juicing enthusiast
Maestro Human Jamonero
Fingernail splinter survivor
Choctopussular King of the Underworld
King of rapid-reaction song-forging
Trainee quadcopter pilot
Digger-out of large pieces of floorboard from his own feet flesh
Survivor of adult mumps
Egg detector
Bacon Drone Mastermind
Able to speak French a bit
Very grown up
Getting better at gardening
Not actually so sure I am getting better at gardening after all
Successfully grafted at least one fruit tree
Learning a bit about pollination
Has eaten reindeer
Building slug defences from egg shells
Has definitely got some greengages growing on the greengage tree
Owner of a kiwi vine
Slug Patrol! Ho!
Has a slightly sore little finger on the right hand
Destroyer of aphids
Several plants would be growing better if I had just left them alone instead of trying to help
A bit tired
Owner of a Passion Fruit vine
Grower of Asparagus
Educator about dinosaurs
Grower and Eater of greengages
Pork is my cake, cheese sauce my custard
Creator of a massive glut of broad beans
Maker of compost
Grower of fruit seeds
Cooker of spicy bone soup
Can say “fish” in Spanish
Inventor of Bean Cake. It's a cake that's full of beans!
Inventor of Eel Cake. It's a cake that's full of eels!
Father of a very small hairdresser
Has a horrible cold but is much too brave to mention it
Smells of burnt toast
Theocratic Despot of the Future
Walking quite a lot these days
I do like a nice home made spicy soup you know
Ate a ridiculously hot chicken wing thereby joining the Brotherhood of Idiots
Crabcatcher
Bell Enthusiast
Pie Cogniscenti
Knower of Things About Fruit
Gaseous Embarrasment Veteran
Nocturnal Beef Trumpet Expert
Owling Wolf

Johansen's Despair - Newsletter 218

Hello!

Oh my gosh watch this! Egremont Russet continues his fascinating tour through the history of fruit with a look at a wonderful neglected variety of apple, Johansen's Despair!

http://bit.ly/1KjBZsb

Isn't this INCREDIBLE!?!?!?

Wheeeee!

Yours sincerely

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown
Able to slow kittens to 1/40th the speed of a normal kitten
Fan of all ungulates
Moon Baron
Able to do a passable impersonation of a trumpeting elephant
Fixer of aircraft using glue, tape and bog roll
Cyborg Warrior
Repairer of small shock absorbers
Owner of a skin-tight lycra suit
Knower of some stuff about pulse jets
Able to identify many cartilaginous fish
Painter of RC cars
Able to fly a radio control plane briefly before crashing and destroying it
Knows what a lift pump is in a diesel engine
Understands clutch shoes
Loop-the-looper extraordinaire!
Getting less bad at soldering
Has a vague understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of a small propeller spinning quickly vs a big propeller spinning slowly
Knows that volts times amps equals watts
Father of Ultimate Nail Baby
Hasn't even mentioned that he cut the tip of his finger off because he's so brave
Builder of Sausage Drone
Not responsible for anyone injuring themselves while attempting dangerous erotic freefall
Popular amongst Dominicans with sexually confusing genetic disorders
HABATAAAAAAG enthusiast
Milkman impersonator
Stallion Explosion
Drummer on stranded buoys
Killer of tree stump
Barbequer of delicious sardines
Rat control expert
Wears a clean pair of underpants every single day, no exceptions
Juicing enthusiast
Maestro Human Jamonero
Fingernail splinter survivor
Choctopussular King of the Underworld
King of rapid-reaction song-forging
Trainee quadcopter pilot
Digger-out of large pieces of floorboard from his own feet flesh
Survivor of adult mumps
Egg detector
Bacon Drone Mastermind
Able to speak French a bit
Very grown up
Getting better at gardening
Not actually so sure I am getting better at gardening after all
Successfully grafted at least one fruit tree
Learning a bit about pollination
Has eaten reindeer
Building slug defences from egg shells
Has definitely got some greengages growing on the greengage tree
Owner of a kiwi vine
Slug Patrol! Ho!
Has a slightly sore little finger on the right hand
Destroyer of aphids
Several plants would be growing better if I had just left them alone instead of trying to help
A bit tired
Owner of a Passion Fruit vine
Grower of Asparagus
Educator about dinosaurs
Grower and Eater of greengages
Pork is my cake, cheese sauce my custard
Creator of a massive glut of broad beans
Maker of compost
Grower of fruit seeds
Cooker of spicy bone soup
Can say “fish” in Spanish
Inventor of Bean Cake. It's a cake that's full of beans!
Inventor of Eel Cake. It's a cake that's full of eels!
Father of a very small hairdresser
Has a horrible cold but is much too brave to mention it
Smells of burnt toast
Theocratic Despot of the Future
Walking quite a lot these days
I do like a nice home made spicy soup you know
Ate a ridiculously hot chicken wing thereby joining the Brotherhood of Idiots
Crabcatcher
Bell Enthusiast
Pie Cogniscenti
Knower of Things About Fruit
Gaseous Embarrasment Veteran

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