Newsletter 79Helloooooooo! And welcome to the 79th EVER update from rathergood!
We've got some AMAZING stuff for you today!
First up, I have developed the single best thing in the history of mankind! It is the MEATINI! A full fried breakfast served in a cocktail glass made of BACON! YEAH! I've got photos and stuff- have a look! You will be AMAZED and AWED!
Also, our little kitten, Meowcat Jackson, has been deeply saddened by the death of his hero, Michael Jackson, last night. He's undertaking a memorial moonwalking marathon, and you can see a live camera feed of it here:
Go on Meowcat! You can keep it up! He's been going for hours already! Have a look and cheer him on. You can do this by cheering at your screen and offering words of encouragement- your computer microphone will pick it up and play it out of speakers in the field, so he can hear you helping him along.
In other news I did my spot on Sky News again this week. Unfortunately there was a vote in Parliament about the Iraq War enquiry and it over-ran, shunting me into the ad break, so it was only viewable online. Where are their PRIORITIES eh? It's only a war! I had INTERNETS to talk about! Anyway, I still did my thing and you can see it here if you like:
Also, little Bliss met one of those lucky cats with the waving arms the other day, and she spent AGES waving back at it! Look - I captured the moment!
ALSO! (OMG there's loads today isn't there!) we've whacked up an mp3 of the chasm spasm theme tune for download. Hoorays!
Ed has it as his ringtone now. I've still got the W.S.Demon theme tune for mine.
I think that's about it for this week except to tell you how much I love you. I really do! I love you so much that I'd eat bacon for you! I'd take bacon and pork products made from blood and fat and entrails and I'd fashion them into the form of a cocktail glass and I'd gluttonously scoff them JUST FOR YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH.
Every time I eat bacon, or black pudding, or anything else from a pig, I do it FOR YOU. I'm thinking about you as I eat that bacon (or other pork product). I'm thinking of you as I fry it up and I'm thinking of you as I chew it and I'm thinking of your face as I pat my distended meat-filled belly. When it comes out the other end, of course, I'm thinking of something else. Yes, something else. Not you. Not then. That would be weird and horrid. I'm probably thinking about cars or hammers or something else that isn't you, honest.
GOODBYE, AND I WISH YOU THE GREATEST OF JOY!
Joel Andrew Veitch MA