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Steve and his search for improved self esteem

I made a new friend online today- Steve. He had a really touching story. I was chatting with him on IM and I mentioned that sometimes I miss the toilet when I do a wee. Steve said he did too (who doesn't!) but it's OK because nobody minds. Why would they mind a lake of stale urine seeping through the floorboards and dripping into the floors below?

"Your toilet must be pristine!" I said to him, as it sounded like he hardly got the toilet at all!

"Well, it's pristine in there somewhere under all the years of heaped up faeces" he replied.

I was pleased to hear that he didn't miss with the faeces! He confirmed that he was bang on target every time when it comes to faeces. Every time. 12 times a day or more. That seemed like quite a lot, I observed, and he confirmed that he has to drink gallons of laxatives to keep it up. It's a hobby. I thought I should tell him to talk to a doctor. It didn't sound healthy to me.

Steve reassured me that everything was fine. No need to worry! Since everything flopped out of his bottom he doesn't even have to squeeze any more. He's just piled all the tubey bits that came out up on the heap of excrement, and he lies on the floor next to it in the pool of urine and fallen-off excrement from the pile, drinking laxatives.

He's in quite a lot of pain, but he doesn't think that's related.

I was concerned his pain might have something to do with the Hogdeath. That or the Pigsweats, the Pork Terror, the Bacon Doom or Ham Cancer. He was sure it wasn't anything to worry about though.

Now, I realised he must have his computer working on his bathroom floor as he's pretty much stuck there. He confirmed this- in fact it turns out he hits the keys with a dobber on his forehead. He can't use his hands because they were holding the stuff that came out of him on the pile for so long they got concreted in by the accumulated faeces. I enquired as to who attached the dobber? They must be very kind, whoever they are.

It turns out that Steve has a man who comes in every hour or so to pour a litre of laxatives into the funnel and tube in his mouth. It was this man who attached the dobber. In fact it was this man who got him in to the whole hobby. He's been very encouraging and helpful. He's called Enabler John, and he has been enabling Steve to reach his full potential with this whole thing. He'd have had to stop ages ago otherwise, probably when his insides prolapsed.

He met Enabler John at a self-help group for people with low self-esteem. He suggested Steve try this laxative hobby as a way to build his self-esteem back up again. He's been great, and Steve really feels like he's achieved something. In fact, he thinks he probably one of the best people there is at this. It's a bit hard for him to tell of course as he can't get out and about. Also, it's a shame about the pain, which really is very severe.

Enabler John doesn't practice himself, he just helps Steve out, takes photos and videos of him, that kind of thing. Some of the things he does make the pain worse but he says they're necessary. Things like carving "UGLY FREAK SCUM" into Steve's sides.

I mentioned at this point in Steve's tale that I wasn't sure how that would help. To be honest, it seemed like it might be counter-productive to me. I was beginning to wonder if Enabler John really knew what he was doing with this program.

It's all OK though- it turns out it's to do with motivation, in the same way they shout at elite troops in the marines and stuff to make them better. That's what makes them elite. That's why Enabler John kicks Steve in the face so much and screams.

Screams and kicks and masturbates and kicks and screams. It goes on and on and on. Then it's time for the next litre of laxative and he leaves him alone for a bit.

I asked Steve at this point if his wife or partner had met Enabler John, and if so, what she thought about him. It turns out that it was about the same time Enabler John moved in that Steve's wife left him. Enabler John says he found a note from her. She said she didn't love Steve any more because he didn't produce enough excrement and that she was leaving him. If he wanted to be a real man, she said in the note, he would let Enabler John train him up. Enabler John read the note to Steve and then burned it without letting him see it- this was to help with closure.

Steve hopes that one day he can win his wife back, when she sees what he has achieved. Enabler John says he has a way to go yet though, before that day is near.

I told him to keep his chin up, and Steve replied that he can't really get it up, though he would if he could. It turns out to be cemented to the floor by the excrement. Only the top of his head, with the dobber on, is free to move. Eventually that will probably clog up as well. That will be a great moment, like getting a black belt at karate.

I was confused now. I asked him to clarify- his chin is cemented to the floor, but his hands are sealed inside the congealed mound of excrement and organs?

Yeah, he confirmed, that's right. It's not very comfortable. Enabler John had to help him get the posture right by loosening up some of the more rigid bits with a hammer. That actually caused some quite serious discomfort. Really quite serious.

Which bits did he loosen? It seems he loosened up Steve's legs, arms, back, hands, feet, fingers, toes, teeth, nose..... all the necessary bits, basically.

I did wonder what his long term plans are. I mean, Step 1: Shit more than anyone else in the world. Step 2: Win his wife back.... but what's step 3?

Step 3 is to live a happy and normal life, full of self esteem of course! He'll be really happy and self-esteemy! It's going to be so great! Steve is really looking forward to that!

It's really hard getting there. So very very hard. Steve is frankly amazed that the path to happiness should be so full of awfulness, horror and agony. But still, that's just the way life is.

Will the constant shitting and frequent medicinal beatings still be part of his life? Well, he doesn't really know.

It's hard for Steve to imagine life without the shitting and beatings, and Enabler John will probably keep him motivated. And his wife as well of course, who will presumably be super-supportive!

Enabler John is really very dedicated. He's a huge blessing and Steve feels really lucky to have found someone who's willing to put so much time into helping him make something of his life.

He's so lucky to have Enabler John. So very, very lucky.

If only everyone had someone like Enabler John to help them reach their full potential, what a beautiful, caring world this would be!