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We Really Like People So Very Much

I was talking to SeaDave about how much I like people. I really like them. People- they're great! I like to brush my lips against their hair, and breathe on them.

SeaDave really likes people too! He often climbs into people's bedrooms and lies in their beds so when they come to bed he's there waiting for them. When they arrive he usually joins in the cheerful screaming for a bit and then climbs back out the window. He likes to think it brightens up their day, and I'm sure he's right. He's dressed as a clown, so it's a cheerful experience for them.

It must be SO MUCH FUN! Finding a clown waiting for you cheerfully in your bed!

I was a bit concerned that his costume might not be what some people were expecting - I had a pretty clear image of what a clown costume looked like, but SeaDave's costume is a clown face, and then the rest of him is nude and smeared in blood and faeces. It seems a bit unusual to me but SeaDave is very clear that it's the right costume, so I suppose it must be.

It isn't his own blood of course- that would just be weird. It is his own faeces though. He generates quite a lot of it while he's waiting, generally.

Now, I did check at this point that he was absolutely sure that all the screaming was cheerful screaming, and not the other kind. I know it can sometimes be difficult to tell which kind of screaming is coming out of people, but he's absolutely definite that it is the cheerful kind. It's because of the clown make-up of course. He's very sure of that.

Sometimes while they're screaming happily at him, they try and joyfully attack him with their fists and teeth. That's normally where the blood comes from. They're full of it apparently - must be seven or eight pints worth in each of them!

I guess it must all be part of the happiness reflex, as it just leaks out after they try and hit him with glee.

SeaDave describes it as like a dance; they leap at him gleefully screaming and swearing, and then he tickles them with his special clown saw. It sounds really great - by this time he's usually laughing uncontrollably.

Laughing and cutting and screaming and sawing. And smearing of course.

And the other person is leaking all over the place with joy. It sounds like SUCH FUN! They normally join in at first but then they soon get a bit tired- which isn't surprising really as it must be very exciting for them. After a bit they usually go to sleep and no matter how hard he tries SeaDave can't wake them up.

Once they're happily asleep, he tucks them up neatly in bed and climbs out the window again, full of the warm glow of knowledge that he's made someone really happy. He tucks them up as neatly as he can anyway- they tend to have come apart a bit with all the excitement. Apparently there are all these slimy snaky bits that come out of their middles. SeaDave doesn't like the snaky bits - they spell out bad words.

He gets all the other bits and arranges them neatly in bed anyway. Sometimes he arranges them differently from how they were to begin with. He has a lot more freedom of expression, a lot more opportunity to be a bit artistic, after the clown saw. He can decide which bit goes where, and sometimes he keeps bits for himself. He knows he's not supposed to do it, and it makes him feel guilty for a bit, but they're just so nice he really wants them and given that he's been so very good and made someone so happy he feels he deserves a treat and I guess that's probably fair enough.